November 2011
5 posts
18/11/11
Feeling hollow, and heavy but on the verge of something. Don’t want to sleep.
Domestic
I must be insanely hormonal lately. Because I’ve been daydreaming about a little house just out of town, baking bread in the morning and sewing up things and playing with babies and all those things that I just don’t normally fantasize about. Could it be, I just really want a family?
October 2011
8 posts
Stop Derpin Around
I’d really like to stop making ridiculous mistakes.
I’d really like to be passionate about something.
I’d really like the people in my life to care a little more.
I’d like to care a little more about the people around me.
I’d like to feel something other than lacking.
And I’d like to get the fuck out of here.
I’d also like to be really and truly good...
Ten Good Things
1. T. You are wonderful. Thank you for being you in my life. 2. Singing. Makes me very happy. 3. Being able to draw. Being good at things makes me happy. 4. Family. While not close, my family is nice. Despite a sordid past. 5. How pretty the leaves outside are. 6. The crisp cool weather. 7. Music and reading. 8. Travelling and the ability to do so. 9. Friends both good and bad. 10. Apples are...
2 tags
September 2011
5 posts
Dealing With It
This started a long time ago but lately it’s just escalated to the point where I’m not sure if I can deal with it by myself anymore. It’s hard to characterize well. An overall feeling of absolute ambivalence. It all feels intensely pointless. There is a raging battle in my mind between the absolutely pointlessness of it all and the absolute perfection of it all. I can’t...
2 tags
2 tags
July 2011
1 post
May 2011
3 posts
April 2011
33 posts
Truly
I think I’ve killed every ounce of belief I ever had in love. Friendship and fucking is apparently more my stride. What the fuck. I was definitely misled by all the stories, the movies the god damn poetry. I’m not impressed, but I don’t feel all that sad. It’s like I’m accepting what I’ve always known. How poignant. And fucking stupid. Note to self, would you...
Oui
It’s lonely being a child at heart.
Just
Mostly I don’t care, but now and then I get this pang like I want somebody to care about me in that special way I hear about. I’m not even sure if I believe in it.
Breathe deeply. Look around.
You’re right where you need to be.
Maybe you’ve been there all along.
